Tamara Groeneveldt and Sherritza Peterson weigh in, When money is tight, children feel it too

Financial pressure is often treated as an adult problem. Bills arrive in an adult’s name, salaries are earned by adults, and decisions about rent, groceries, school expenses and transportation usually fall on parents. But inside a household, children are rarely as protected from financial stress as adults would like to believe.

They notice when things change. They notice when certain foods disappear from the grocery list, when activities are cancelled, when new school supplies are delayed, when parents begin arguing more often or when requests that once seemed simple suddenly become difficult. Even when nobody sits them down and explains that money is tight, many children already know.

That was one of the clearest points made by social workers Tamara Groeneveldt and Sherritza Peterson of the Student Support Services Division during a recent discussion with Cedric Peterson for SXM GOV Radio on parenting under financial stress. They explained that financial problems do not remain inside a bank account. They can affect a child academically, socially, emotionally and behaviourally, and in some cases can change how secure a child feels inside the home.

Both experts explained that the pressure is not only about whether there is food in the refrigerator. It can also be about clothing, shoes, bags, activities and the growing expectation among young people that fitting in sometimes means owning the same things everyone else appears to have.

Groeneveldt pointed out that children may begin worrying about basic needs such as food or family stability, while also becoming conscious of how they look compared with classmates. A child may see another student wearing expensive shoes or carrying a popular bag and quickly become aware that their own family cannot afford the same thing. For adults, that may sound superficial. For children and teenagers, it often is not.

Belonging matters enormously when young people are still developing their sense of identity. Some children do not necessarily want to stand out, they want to fit in. They want to feel that they belong to the group, that they are not the one who obviously has less, and that they do not have to explain why they cannot participate in something their friends can afford.

That pressure can produce difficult behaviour, but it is important not to exaggerate the evidence. During the discussion, Peterson was careful not to claim that theft among children is increasing because she did not have data to support that conclusion. What she did say is that financial difficulty has long been a concern for young people and that children often compare themselves with their peers, whether or not parents openly discuss the family’s financial situation.

Financial stress does not automatically lead a child to misbehave, steal or become aggressive. But it can create emotional conditions that make children feel embarrassed, excluded, anxious or resentful. Those feelings can then surface in ways that parents and teachers may initially misunderstand.

One of the simplest lessons offered during the discussion is also one of the most useful: children should learn the difference between a need and a want.

That sounds obvious, but many households struggle with it, particularly in a social environment where advertising, social media and peer pressure constantly blur the difference. A child may genuinely feel that a particular brand of shoe is necessary because everyone around them has it. A teenager may feel excluded because they cannot participate in an activity that costs money. Helping children understand financial choices, while also building their confidence, can reduce the feeling that their value depends on what their family can afford.

The other lesson is that silence does not necessarily protect children.

Parents often avoid discussing money problems because they do not want children to worry. The instinct is understandable. Children should not be made responsible for adult financial problems, and they should never feel that the household depends on them to solve those problems. But there is a difference between burdening a child and communicating honestly in a way that matches the child’s age.

Peterson argued that conversations about family matters, including finances, should become part of normal communication inside the home. When children understand that money has limits and that certain expenses must come first, they are less likely to interpret every “no” as punishment or rejection. She recalled growing up in a household where her mother explained basic expenses after receiving her salary, which helped the children understand what could and could not be afforded.

That kind of openness can also reduce uncertainty. Children often imagine something worse when they know a problem exists but nobody explains it.

Parents should also watch for changes in behaviour. Groeneveldt said warning signs may include aggression, defiance, frequent arguments, conflict between siblings, resentment toward parents or social withdrawal. A child who previously enjoyed activities with friends may suddenly stop participating because the family can no longer afford the fees, and embarrassment may cause that child to isolate themselves instead of explaining why.

This is where financial stress begins to affect much more than money. It can change friendships, confidence, routines and the child’s sense of belonging.

Maintaining routine becomes especially important during difficult periods. Children need some feeling that life is still predictable even when the household budget is under strain. That does not mean parents must continue spending money they do not have. It means replacing what is no longer affordable with activities that preserve family connection and normalcy.

If sports fees become too expensive, families can still go to the beach, exercise together, play games or find other free activities that provide structure and enjoyment. Peterson stressed that stability and routine contribute to a child’s sense of safety, and that parents should explain financial changes in an age-appropriate way rather than simply allowing activities to disappear without explanation.

Parents also need to pay attention to their own emotional wellbeing

Children often take their emotional cues from the adults around them. If every discussion about money ends in panic, anger or despair, children will absorb that atmosphere even when nobody directly speaks to them about finances. Groeneveldt noted that parents are often the first role models children look to, which makes the emotional condition of the parent important when guiding children through difficult periods.

None of this makes financial hardship easy. Communication does not reduce the electricity bill, routine does not lower rent and confidence does not make groceries cheaper. Families still need practical economic relief, accessible social services and policies that address the pressures causing financial stress in the first place.

But inside the household, parents still have some control over how financial difficulty is experienced by their children.

Children do not need every detail of the family’s finances. They do need reassurance, honesty and consistency. They need to understand that having less does not make them less. They need adults who can explain the difference between disappointment and disaster, and between something they want today and something the family genuinely needs.

Most importantly, they need to know that financial difficulty does not mean the family itself is falling apart.

Money problems are adult problems, but children feel them too. How families communicate through those periods can make the difference between a child simply understanding that times are difficult and a child believing that their entire world is becoming unstable.

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